Tag: Business

Imposter Syndrome, and fixing Perfectionism.

Imposter syndrome? Am, I right?

Who thought of themselves when I posted that question?

It hits you at the worst times, For me, my birthday is tomorrow.

I’ve been working impossibly hard on writing, and editing,

I’ve been raising to new, young fur babies. A German shepherd baby, and fierce, and incredibly sweet cat. I have a large NYC apartment, and husband to care for, and clean. Oh and there’s that disability thing I have. I hit job boards every day. I joined a private freelance writing newsletter for work.

Is it enough? Am I enough?

Murphy Brown (in red jacket above^), said “we can have it all.” Meaning; Life work, family, fun, work/life balance. A huge joke for my Xennial generation. Murphy Brown was lying. Let’s call it black humor.

Truthfully, my age group has been left in a state of anxiety, assuming this is real, through perfectionism. We even shared it with GenZ, Y, et all.

Let’s talk “Imposter Syndrome”

According to Stanford University

“Imposter Phenomenon” (more commonly known as “imposter syndrome”, although some researchers prefer the less clinical connotations of the Imposter Phenomenon”),  was first coined by psychologists Pauline Rode Clance and Suzanne Imes (1978) to describe the internal experience of doubting your abilities.

Here I am, breathless, updating my resume, my cover letter, job hunting like mad. I have experience, proof of work, life, I don’t need to lie on my resume. Not good enough.

I feel fruitless, despite mountainous effort to move forward. Is it me? I’ve reinvented myself 3x since my last post, and….I feel I am not good enough. Contrary to popular belief, I feel no need to blame previous generations. No doubt they are caught in this whirlwind too.

How we do we deal with the daunting perfectionism to be better?

How do I start fixing this?

Recognize the problem.

I’m All 5. (cries)

Shaking this is harder than I thought.

According to the American Psychological Association

Up to 82% of people face feelings of impostor phenomenon, struggling with the sense they haven’t earned what they’ve achieved and are a fraud (Bravata, D. M., et al., Journal of General Internal Medicine, Vol. 35, No. 4, 2020). 

As I exhale I realize, it’s a mindset. I inherited some of mine. Its a generational thing. Family of geniuses on both sides. Watching others achievements closely, and being a cheerleader in life, often makes you forget to cheer yourself. Tackling the “concept you are less than, in any way will stop you dead in your tracks. If overthinking is your forte. Insomnia, or move forward towards what you fear.

Go. Do.

Had to throw in a little Jedi master knowledge. It’s true.

Let’s all exhale. There are ways to refocus, renew, and reinvent your self, and headspace. We can be honest with ourselves. Focus on YOU.

Here’s a thought.

I said its my birthday tomorrow, again. Lets start with celebrating our accomplishments.

This past year, I have learned to speak decent French, and basic Italian. I am a writer, and editor. I edited an article on marketing. I have created resumes from scratch, for 2 clients. Hooray! Achievement’s. I am proud I did that.

Now you.

There are several ways to stop Imposter Syndrome. This emotional ennui, needs some help.

Here are some ideas;

Please take care of yourself. Taking time to honor your mental, and physical health is and should be a priority. Difficult to think of you first? God yes, but necessary, or you can’t help others.

Please consider talk to your local, or online therapist. This is 2025 and therapy is no longer a stigma.

If you are in crisis, and would prefer to discuss thing anonymously….

Here are some free resources;

Several free online therapy options exist, providing access to emotional support and resources. 

For immediate crisis support, the Crisis Text Line offers 24/7 confidential support via text. For more general support, 7 Cups connects individuals with trained volunteer listeners. Additionally, resources like NAMI | National Alliance on Mental Illness can provide information and referrals to free therapy options in your area. 

It’s a rough time for many in the employment, and career field. Day to day life is much more intense than it was pre-covid. Imposter Syndrome can cause depression, and self esteem issues. I struggle with this. Especially when job hunting .

Baby steps. Apparently this is process, and may take a while. But….I’m working on it. I hope we all do.

Guest Article; The Art of the Pitch: Marketing to Aspirational vs. Affluent Buyers in the Middle-to-Luxury Market

Affluent Pitch vs, Luxury pitch for Marketing

Editor: Heathyr Wolfe

Written By : Joe L. Jackson

Joe.L.Jackson@bizhelpportal.com

In the world of middle-to-luxury marketing, everything hinges on the pitch. Get it right.

 You’re not just selling a product—you’re selling a story that sticks. There’s a critical nuance many brands overlook: not every luxury buyer is cut from the same cloth. Some want to feel wealthy. Others already are.

If you’re crafting the same message for both, you’re missing out on the deeper emotional triggers that move each type to action. The middle-to-luxury market isn’t just about price points, it’s about perception, posture, and psychology. Whether you’re pitching to the aspirational buyer who’s stretching their wallet to step up, or the truly affluent buyer who has the means and discernment to say “yes” or “no” in a blink. Your message needs to meet them where they are—without sounding like it was born in a boardroom./

The Emotional Currency of “Looking Rich”

When you market to the aspirational buyer, you’re tapping into desire more than access. These are the folks scrolling luxury Instagram accounts, watching lifestyle vlogs, and dreaming in Gucci, even if they’re budgeting in Zara. They’re driven by the emotional payoff of appearing elevated, of getting a taste of the high life without necessarily owning the keys to it.

Your pitch needs to show them how your product will let them walk into a room and feel like they belong. It’s less about legacy or craftsmanship and more about the social optics of ownership. It speaks to their imagined future self, the one who’s arrived, who commands attention, who finally feels “seen.”

Authenticity as a Quiet Flex for the Truly Wealthy

Affluent buyers are playing a different game altogether.

They’ve already made it, or were born into it, and their BS meter is finely tuned. Flashy pitches can feel like trying too hard, and over-polished messaging can come across as insecure. What they respond to is subtlety, substance, and signals that show you “get it”.

Think. Materials over marketing, heritage over hype. A truly affluent customer doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone, so your sales pitch shouldn’t either. Instead of shouting value, you want to whisper quality.

Design Two Separate Worlds of Language

Tone matters.

Aspirational buyers resonate with phrases like “stand out,” “make an impression,” or “treat yourself.” It’s okay to be a little aspirational in your tone. After all, that’s what they’re buying. Aspirational consumers often want to know who else is buying before they make a move. They’re influenced by celebrity endorsements, influencer reviews, and buzz. For them, visibility equals legitimacy.

What about affluent buyers? They need words like “understated,” “exclusive,” “craftsmanship,” or “quiet confidence.” They want to feel like you’re “letting them in on a secret”. Affluent buyers expect things to be expensive. If it’s too cheap, they might think something’s wrong. It’s niche on purpose. You’re not selling them a product; you’re offering a refined continuation of their identity. Your messaging needs to signal that the price isn’t just a number, it’s part of the brand’s filtration system. That alone can be its own kind of luxury.

Storytelling That Translates Status

Aspirational buyers love a good story because it helps them imagine themselves stepping into a new role. Your product becomes the costume change, the symbolic milestone of their evolution. Think of the sales pitch as a mini-movie, how does the product shift their narrative?

Affluent buyers, are drawn to stories that reinforce their already-established worldview. They’re less interested in transformation and more drawn to continuity, legacy, or values alignment. They’re not buying an escape. They’re investing in something that echoes who they already believe themselves to be.

Build the Brand Right, Before You Sell the Dream


Ultimately, you can’t afford to lump every buyer into the same marketing strategy.

Aspirational and affluent buyers live in different psychological ecosystems, and if your pitch doesn’t reflect that, you’re either over-promising or underwhelming. You have to listen to what each group truly wants to feel, not just what they want to own. One’s chasing elevation, the other is protecting identity. Learn the difference, tailor your message, and your brand won’t just be heard.

It WILL be remembered.s overlook: not every luxury buyer is cut from the same cloth. Some want to feel wealthy. Others already are.

If you’re crafting the same message for both, you’re missing out on the deeper emotional triggers that move each type to action. The middle-to-luxury market isn’t just about price points—it’s about perception, posture, and psychology. Whether you’re pitching to the aspirational buyer who’s stretching their wallet to step up, or the truly affluent buyer who has the means and discernment to say “yes” or “no” in a blink. Your message needs to meet them where they are—without sounding like it was born in a boardroom.

The Emotional Currency of “Looking Rich”

When you market to the aspirational buyer, you’re tapping into desire more than access. These are the folks scrolling luxury Instagram accounts, watching lifestyle vlogs, and dreaming in Gucci, even if they’re budgeting in Zara. They’re driven by the emotional payoff of appearing elevated, of getting a taste of the high life without necessarily owning the keys to it.

Your pitch needs to show them how your product will let them walk into a room and feel like they belong. It’s less about legacy or craftsmanship and more about the social optics of ownership. It speaks to their imagined future self, the one who’s arrived, who commands attention, who finally feels “seen.”

Authenticity as a Quiet Flex for the Truly Wealthy

Affluent buyers are playing a different game altogether.

They’ve already made it, or were born into it, and their BS meter is finely tuned. Flashy pitches can feel like trying too hard, and over-polished messaging can come across as insecure. What they respond to is subtlety, substance, and signals that show you “get it”.

Think. Materials over marketing, heritage over hype. A truly affluent customer doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone, so your sales pitch shouldn’t either. Instead of shouting value, you want to whisper quality.

Design Two Separate Worlds of Language

Tone matters.

Aspirational buyers resonate with phrases like “stand out,” “make an impression,” or “treat yourself.” It’s okay to be a little aspirational in your tone. After all, that’s what they’re buying. Aspirational consumers often want to know who else is buying before they make a move. They’re influenced by celebrity endorsements, influencer reviews, and buzz. For them, visibility equals legitimacy

What about affluent buyers? They need words like “understated,” “exclusive,” “craftsmanship,” or “quiet confidence.” They want to feel like you’re “letting them in on a secret”. Affluent buyers expect things to be expensive. If it’s too cheap, they might think something’s wrong. It’s niche on purpose. You’re not selling them a product; you’re offering a refined continuation of their identity. Your messaging needs to signal that the price isn’t just a number, it’s part of the brand’s filtration system. That alone can be its own kind of luxury.

Storytelling That Translates Status

Aspirational buyers love a good story because it helps them imagine themselves stepping into a new role. Your product becomes the costume change, the symbolic milestone of their evolution. Think of the sales pitch as a mini-movie, how does the product shift their narrative?

Affluent buyers, are drawn to stories that reinforce their already-established worldview. They’re less interested in transformation and more drawn to continuity, legacy, or values alignment. They’re not buying an escape. They’re investing in something that echoes who they already believe themselves to be.

Build the Brand Right, Before You Sell the Dream


Ultimately, you can’t afford to lump every buyer into the same marketing strategy.

Aspirational and affluent buyers live in different psychological ecosystems, and if your pitch doesn’t reflect that, you’re either over-promising or underwhelming. You have to listen to what each group truly wants to feel, not just what they want to own. One’s chasing elevation, the other is protecting identity. Learn the difference, tailor your message, and your brand won’t just be heard.

It WILL be remembered.

Welcome to Forever 21 where the size isn’t right, but we have everything. – Why, Forever 21 is headed towards Bankruptcy

Photo by Ken Nishimura/Los Angeles Times

Originally this was a school project. Checking clothing sizing at a major department store. I moved to a smaller town of about 50,00 people, mostly students a few years ago, so I decided the biggest downtown retailer is Forever 21. My quest for sizing differences was leading me there.

Then I saw the news. Forever 21 is on the verge of bankruptcy. News is reporting they ARE in Chapter 11, but upon further research I found they are currently ALMOST there.

Los Angeles-based Forever 21 is preparing to file for bankruptcy protection as soon as this month, ideally with a restructuring plan in place, the people said. Company advisers have been working on obtaining a bankruptcy loan package that would give the retailer about $75 million to continue operations during the case, Bloomberg previously reported. – LA Times

The real question is, why are they collapsing? The economy is tanking, but their prices are cheap. They seem to be a busy store with a lot of retail goods, making mad sales.  Who hasn’t walked and bought something on impulse? From lip gloss, to hair accessories, underwear, to sportswear, they have it all.

Starting with the window display. I have been drawn in by the items I see. Put together cute outfits and accessories scream, “buy me!”. Once inside the store I can NEVER, EVER find them, or find them in my size. I had to run all the way tot he register to find one employee, who was watching the register, to help me find this dress. Then it was placed far away from the actual item making it hard to find.

Stocking new items on display, an making them easily found is a must for any retailer. We want these things, let us buy them.

The original reason I came in is sizing. This is a project, right? Being a small and petite woman currently is difficult. I don’t have a 32 inseam. Think 26-27. It’s all about clothing sizes.

EBurns and I on Stylers Panel
I’m very tiny and wear a lot of heels ( far right, Styler’s Panel Beverly Hills, 2015)

I’ll let you in on a secret. When sizing your clothes, a size small, to a size medium, goes up 2 inches, by industry standards. This means you size small 2, goes up two inches in waist, shoulder and hips. It also means your could be a size S could be a 0-6, or your medium, 4-10. Also a garment producer can leave up to 2 inches less or more in the trial run, later to be corrected by the designer.

Let’s look at the fit of these items. I tried two size small dresses. One is a lined, dress shirt in, the other tight fitting number I thought was the display dress.

Not the black dress on display, this had a curled hem, the display straight.

The shirt dress is more like a Medium, except in the shoulders. I found the sleeves extra long and the waist for too baggy for any small.

Now here’s something fun to try. Get the shirt you like in two different colors, same size. Try them on? Guess what?!

Forever 21 has actually sized these differently. I found the burgundy shirt fit more comfortably, and the white fit like and extra small. There is the possibility of stretching from trying on, but everything fit he same in the waist, chest and shoulders. One was just smaller. This is an issue of Quality Control. In retail we are generally strict about that.

I’d like to voice my opinion on cleanliness. See the dirt on the dress? Not my camera, not my makeup ,but the floor did that, when I dropped everything. It makes me feel, a slight twinge of germaphobia to go in there.

A lone rubber band, piece of lint and 21 tag mixed with dirt from every human who entered.

Lastly the cashiers. less side-eye please. Your clothes were dirty because of your dressing room, and floor. They fit terribly with bunching and over or under sizing. This customer is buying your ill fitted clothing and paying your wages. I feel your pain, but it’s retail. Considering the hell I just went through, standing in line, and dealing with ill fitting clothes, be nice.

Honestly, I feel more, buy it, try it on at home vibe, then welcome to F21. I did however find a nice brush and hair bands I need in the impulse register area.

I have to thank them for cheap and affordable accessories and make up.

My final opinion is yes, I support them occasionally. In an over all store experience, they have problems. I hope they restructure and come out winning.

 

Stylist Diaries; Two shoots, One supermodel and a Whole Lot of Caffeine #ElizabethDeo #EugeniaKuzmina #StylistLife #SetLife #StylistDiaries

The last week have been a whirlwind. I recently got back from a relaxing and enjoyable month-long vacation in the California Redwoods.

Look, city folk this is what trees look like...
Look, city folk this is what trees look like…

Apparently it was too relaxing because the second I headed back to LA I got double booked on some amazing shoots.

The first was for a longtime acquaintance in LA who is tiny, cute and beyond fit, model and performer Elizabeth Deo. She’s not only a professional but an absolute delight. All the photos are heading straight to the sexy and scintillating ‘Manic Magazine’.

It was a crushing 102F but thankfully all Elizabeth is a complete professional and only required lingerie.

10425512_10206141137021238_1131851698570887729_n 11406926_10206138452554128_344827954006628088_n11390333_10206140031993613_7697041260021439398_n Two days later I was back at it again with my absolute favorite client Eugenia Kuzmina.

Eugenia has been a runway and print model for tons of amazing clients, such as;

Armani Jeans, Dior sunglasses, GAP, Arden B, Express, Kenzi, Replay Jeans, Sephora, and L’Oreal.[2] She has been also featured in magazines, such as Elle, Harper’s  Bazaar, Marie Claire, Japanese and Russian Vogue, GQ, Self, Shape, As well as catalogs for Hermès and Cartier.

In her early 20’s she transitioned into acting and has most recently been in ‘Fury’ with Brad Pitt.

It’s not hard to see why I love this woman, She’s tall, gorgeous, leggy, talented and, a supermom. Her most recent photography project is creating a coffee table book I have been lucky enough to work on with her as a Art Director and Key Stylist. It’s all about being a supermodel/supermom.

We had an amazing shoot day and got the kids wired on sugar. A perfect combo for amazing shots.Here are some of the behind the scenes photos

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I want to thank my kick ass crews that made it possible, my sexy ass models Elizabeth Deo and Eugenia Kuzmina, and look forward to working with you all again!

What’s next for this little wardrobe stylista? A shoot for Powder Room Magazine. Everyday is a runway kittens, make today yours!

Keep checking back for new blog posts and updates.

New Look at HeathyrWolfe.com! #New #Custom #Update #Fancy

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Oh yes! Hello my sexy kittens. With my fabulous birthday passing (May 24th) I decided it was time for a long overdue update to my site. What you see here is a new format with fabulous, easy to ready fonts, pages, my styling port and more. I will be constantly undergoing construction because I am a total nerd girl and love updating techy things.

Soon there will be more media, videos, photos and blog posts than you can shake your iPhone at.

Much love and feedback is always welcome, though rarely taken seriously.

Happy reading,

Heathyr Wolfe

Gift Guide – South Hill Designs Custom Jewelry. #Accessories #Personalized #Perfection

Hooray it’s the holiday season. This means it is time to run out to the mall, the store and cruise the nifty net for fabulous gifts, and gift guide’s. Look no further I have the perfect answer to all your gift giving AND fixing your wallet.

SHD-Heart-and-Pillow

Jewelry can be sweet, cute, romantic, sentimental, seductive, enticing and has a full and passionate history. It has has been given as a gift for centuries. Some jewelry is passed down generations, some given romantically or as a symbol of dedication and celebration.

keep-calm-and-love-jewelry-web-meme

It’s what everyone wants, men, women, my BFF gal pals, everyone I know.

My best friend loves personalized gifting. She adores giving custom pieces, gift baskets, cards, and simply adores bling. This year I want to give her something just as personal and beautiful. However, I am feeling a bit frugal but I do not want anything that looks frugal. I want something FABULOUS that screams I love you, without losing quality.

Thank you South Hill Designs!

SHD-Heart-and-Pillow

Of course, a personalized touch makes it heartfelt and unforgettable. With personalized lockets and charms you can make anything for a special someone this Christmas.

Creating Jewelry that from the base to the charms is the perfect gift for anyone. South Hill carries everything you need to make lockets that are unique for everyone. Mom’s, Dad’s, lovers, friends and wouldn’t it be nice to show Grandma how much you love her?

South Hill Designs has lockets, droplets, accessories and of course, they have pre-made jewelry & accessories for any occasion.

Looking for gift’s for the discriminating boss or celebrity? Done.

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Actress Angie Everhart, model Caroline D’Amour and Deborah Gibson love their South Hill Designs personalized lockets.

Here’s the part I really like. You can become your own South Hill Design artist and create your own design OR host your own South Hill Design DIY party.

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Perfect for the holidays and perfect for the wallet, in home South Hill Design parties require no selling, cold calls or unnecessary speeches. Parties last around 2 hours and it’s just fun DIY with the people you invite. As a hostess you receive a cash commission AND discount on items. ( Click the picture above to find out more). This gives you the opportunity to have an amazing party, be creative with friends and get paid for it.

South Hill Designs, started in 2012, in Tempe Arizona. In just over a year they have developed a celebrity clientele, and have had a 400% growth in sales! I did a little research on South Hills Designs and found out they work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Charity work always gives me the awwwz. No wonder they are growing so rapidly.

With such a beautiful, and very unique idea, South Hill is definitely my destination for Christmas shopping. Even my dad is getting something from them.

Click the link below or any of the pictures above to go to South Hill Designs and start shopping now!

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Time to shop for Spring/Summer 2013, @MonikaChiang Style #Accessories #Shoes #Want #BlackisBack

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If you haven’t acquainted yourself with up and coming designer Monika Chiang, now is the perfect time to. Having just received an email about her fabulous shoes I thought I ought to give her website a quick spin. Always, a great idea for a new Spring/Summer wardrobe, and bad idea for my bank account. Because….I want everything! But instead I’ll share a few key pieces I love.

The “LAVA SWAROVSKI STONE NECKLACE, BLACK”

Lava rock and swarovski necklace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This necklace oozes charm, style and a classic chic with a twist. The black lava chain gives it an industrial feel while the Swarovski classes it up enough to wear to a nice function. Absolutely a statement piece his screams little black dress and should be paired with something as fabulous as…..

Imena lace-up sandal

These shoes. These shoes that I am DYING for.

Lace-up sexy with a high heel to keep you above the rest the “IMENA LACE UP SANDAL, BLACK” screams La Femme Nikita. If James Bond ever turned int a woman she would bust these out. Seductress? Stiletto Sexy? Head turner? All of the above. I adore shoes so of course these are a must have on my list.

However, I am a woman on the go. I need to look smashing while being a little functional. Nothing says business like a black leather brief a la bag. I need a purse that screams business bitch, yet charms the man I am with.

Thankfully my search is over with the ever charming, “GABON LEATHER MESSENGER BAG”.

Baronleather messenger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is functional, classy and is wearable for casual dates with jeans and those^ heels (Imena has my heart). The Gabon has extra zippers for an ‘edge’ and is easily carried or worn cross shoulder if you have to hit the subway.I love the look leather gets after elongated wear. Leather is forever and can last through numerous business meetings, airline flights and keep me looking classy.

Have I piqued your interest my fashionista’s? Good. Go shop the Monika Chiang collection here:

Monika Chiang Rocks!!

If you sign up for the newsletter and email list now, you can get 15% off your purchase! So what are you waiting for?

Nerd News Flash! Yahoo Hires New CMO, Genius Marissa Mayer….While Other CMO is on Vacation!!

I have seen some shifty moves in business. I have seen some of the nastiest business cat fights go down. We all know no one has a safe job in this economy. You may get fired the dy you get fired. It’s a low move but possible.This however takes the cake.

We shall call this move,’Business 101: Fuckery’.

Current CMO of Yahoo, Mollie Spillman, was of vacationing at the beach. She was trying to unwind from working at one of the largest internet companies in the country. While she took a moment away from the office to regain her humanity, she was replaced by Marissa Mayer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poor Mollie found out 10 minutes before the news was announced to the entire company. Ouch.

A source close to the situation tells us Mayer informed the vacationing Spillman of the news only ten minutes before it broke.

“She was blindsided,” said this source. Mayer and Spillman have worked closely together in the weeks since she became CEO, and the fact that Mayer was looking for her replacement never came up.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/awkward-yahoo-ceo-marissa-mayer-hired-a-new-cmo-while-the-current-cmo-was-on-vacation-2012-8#ixzz254PrKMtV

I guess there really is no rest for the weary.

From Harvard Business blog: Narcissism: The Difference Between High Achievers and Leaders – Justin Menkes

Normally I am not big on reblogging other’s work but I just cam across this article from the Harvard Business Review. It’s not only insightful, it’s brilliant. Working both corporate and as an Independent I find this rings very true. Check it out if you are Business minded. It may save you a lot of trouble and create a lot of insight.

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HBR Blog Network

Narcissism: The Difference Between High Achievers and Leaders

by Justin Menkes  |   6:00 AM July 4, 2012

A chief executive had a dilemma. After working in a fast-growing company as COO, he accepted an offer from venture capitalists to start his own company. Within five years he had built a new enterprise generating revenues over $300 million and profit margins so high that his company had compiled a substantial cash reserve with which it was poised to go on an acquisition run. His passion, strategic and analytical brilliance, and relentless focus on practical results made him a rare, virtually unstoppable force in industry.

So what was his problem? He was irreplaceable, at least according to his board. It was the board’s fundamental responsibility to protect the shareholders’ interests with a viable succession plan, and for this they simply had no acceptable answer. They demanded that he find a solution.

He asked me for counsel:

Justin, I have two people on my team that I think can grow into my role. But my board vehemently disagrees and thinks I vastly overestimate their long-term potential to actually run a company. They’re both superstars. How do I know which one — or if either one — can make the leap, or whether this is just a pipe dream that’s going to waste a lot of time, money, and focus?

It’s a good question, one I’m often asked. How do you know when someone can make the leap from high performer to CEO? There is one driving factor that determines the answer: narcissism.

Those selected for development have one universal trait in common: They are by definition high achievers. But there is a difference between those superstar achievers that can make the leap to CEO and those that will implode: To what degree do they feel invigorated by the success and talent of others, and to what degree does the success of others cause an involuntary pinch of insecurity about their own personal inadequacies? Only an individual who feels genuinely invigorated by the growth, development, and success of others can become an effective leader of an enterprise. And it remains the most common obstacle of success for those trying to make that leap.

There is powerful evidence (pdf) that narcissists have difficulty forging long-term relationships. Because narcissists are continuously seeking recognition from others to reinforce their own self-worth, they tend to form new relationships where they can see a positive reflection of themselves in the other person’s eye. However, because of their obsession with analyzing events around them to see what they suggest about their own identities, they also exhaust those relationships. In leadership positions, this leaves colleagues feeling like collective efforts are being used to increase a single narcissist leader’s ego, rather than a team’s shared goals.

Keeping an eye on the high achiever’s relationships and self-promotion certainly helps to see if your candidate is a narcissist. The Narcissistic Personality Inventory also has several questions that suggest how to further clarify an individual’s level of narcissism, including:

  • Are the individual’s relationships with others based on honest, intimate exchanges, or are they formed using a dynamic that regularly reinforces the narcissist’s role as a “hero”?
  • Does the individual often talk about how his star qualities make him distinct from his peers?
  • Does he like to be the center of attention?
  • Does the remark, “I insist on getting the respect that is due me,” resonate with his worldview?

If you answered “yes” to many of the questions above, chances are you’re describing a high achiever who possesses a costly level of narcissism. But there are ways to help these individuals make the leap from high achievers to leaders.

First, coach them to continuously attribute credit to others for any successful project. Point out how this will produce long-term rewards because others will see that the projects they’re responsible for produce successful outcomes. In the end, other talented people will vie to work with them and give them their best, further improving their track records of disseminating success.

Then, press hard against any behaviors that self-aggrandize. Frame the lesson in a language that high achievers can understand: If their intent is to get ahead, self-promotion is likely doing just the opposite over the long term. It is in their self-interest to change.

Individuals with extreme levels of insecurity — those that cannot remain stable while seeing others succeed — will fail in leadership. In these cases, you may need to arrange psychological interventions that get to the root of their insecurities and help them heal if they are to become successful leaders.

While elevated narcissism and self-promotion has been shown to result in quicker promotion early in one’s career, its negative impacts are revealed in positions of higher authority. In these positions, blind ambition becomes its own worst enemy. In identifying these traits early and combating them through mentorship, you can transform these high achievers into quality leaders.

Narcissism: The Difference Between High Achievers and Leaders – Justin Menkes – Harvard Business Review.

LA billionaire merges with Barneys to become chairman of the board. OWN IT!

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Seem’s Angelenos are putting fashion on the map more and more everyday. An LA business owner merged with Barneys of the infamous Barneys NY to become a partial owner and a member of the board. ApparelNews.net;

Billionaire Ron Burkle, whose Yucaipa Cos.investmentfirm is headquartered on Sunset Boulevard, has joinedPerry Capital of New York to take a majority share in the retailer. As a result, Burkle will gain a seat on the board of directors. Richard Perry, head of Perry Capital, will become chairman of the board.

Let’s hope these means better shopping for Los Angeles and maybe, eventually (fingers and pedi toes crossed) we could get a REAL fashion week back. We shall see. What do you think fashionista?