Imposter Syndrome, and fixing Perfectionism.

Imposter syndrome? Am, I right?

Who thought of themselves when I posted that question?

It hits you at the worst times, For me, my birthday is tomorrow.

I’ve been working impossibly hard on writing, and editing,

I’ve been raising to new, young fur babies. A German shepherd baby, and fierce, and incredibly sweet cat. I have a large NYC apartment, and husband to care for, and clean. Oh and there’s that disability thing I have. I hit job boards every day. I joined a private freelance writing newsletter for work.

Is it enough? Am I enough?

Murphy Brown (in red jacket above^), said “we can have it all.” Meaning; Life work, family, fun, work/life balance. A huge joke for my Xennial generation. Murphy Brown was lying. Let’s call it black humor.

Truthfully, my age group has been left in a state of anxiety, assuming this is real, through perfectionism. We even shared it with GenZ, Y, et all.

Let’s talk “Imposter Syndrome”

According to Stanford University

“Imposter Phenomenon” (more commonly known as “imposter syndrome”, although some researchers prefer the less clinical connotations of the Imposter Phenomenon”),  was first coined by psychologists Pauline Rode Clance and Suzanne Imes (1978) to describe the internal experience of doubting your abilities.

Here I am, breathless, updating my resume, my cover letter, job hunting like mad. I have experience, proof of work, life, I don’t need to lie on my resume. Not good enough.

I feel fruitless, despite mountainous effort to move forward. Is it me? I’ve reinvented myself 3x since my last post, and….I feel I am not good enough. Contrary to popular belief, I feel no need to blame previous generations. No doubt they are caught in this whirlwind too.

How we do we deal with the daunting perfectionism to be better?

How do I start fixing this?

Recognize the problem.

I’m All 5. (cries)

Shaking this is harder than I thought.

According to the American Psychological Association

Up to 82% of people face feelings of impostor phenomenon, struggling with the sense they haven’t earned what they’ve achieved and are a fraud (Bravata, D. M., et al., Journal of General Internal Medicine, Vol. 35, No. 4, 2020). 

As I exhale I realize, it’s a mindset. I inherited some of mine. Its a generational thing. Family of geniuses on both sides. Watching others achievements closely, and being a cheerleader in life, often makes you forget to cheer yourself. Tackling the “concept you are less than, in any way will stop you dead in your tracks. If overthinking is your forte. Insomnia, or move forward towards what you fear.

Go. Do.

Had to throw in a little Jedi master knowledge. It’s true.

Let’s all exhale. There are ways to refocus, renew, and reinvent your self, and headspace. We can be honest with ourselves. Focus on YOU.

Here’s a thought.

I said its my birthday tomorrow, again. Lets start with celebrating our accomplishments.

This past year, I have learned to speak decent French, and basic Italian. I am a writer, and editor. I edited an article on marketing. I have created resumes from scratch, for 2 clients. Hooray! Achievement’s. I am proud I did that.

Now you.

There are several ways to stop Imposter Syndrome. This emotional ennui, needs some help.

Here are some ideas;

Please take care of yourself. Taking time to honor your mental, and physical health is and should be a priority. Difficult to think of you first? God yes, but necessary, or you can’t help others.

Please consider talk to your local, or online therapist. This is 2025 and therapy is no longer a stigma.

If you are in crisis, and would prefer to discuss thing anonymously….

Here are some free resources;

Several free online therapy options exist, providing access to emotional support and resources

For immediate crisis support, the Crisis Text Line offers 24/7 confidential support via text. For more general support, 7 Cups connects individuals with trained volunteer listeners. Additionally, resources like NAMI | National Alliance on Mental Illness can provide information and referrals to free therapy options in your area. 

It’s a rough time for many in the employment, and career field. Day to day life is much more intense than it was pre-covid. Imposter Syndrome can cause depression, and self esteem issues. I struggle with this. Especially when job hunting .

Baby steps. Apparently this is process, and may take a while. But….I’m working on it. I hope we all do.

The new modern minimalism, in Fashion

or, why you should forget about cottage core.

Sorry I dead posted my page fashion fanatics. Covid kills the your writing drive. Now that I’m caught back up in the fashion industry, and have worked with the great folks at Fascinate Media and InStyle.com, it’s time to write about what I know best. FASHION!!

Fashion as an industry is changing, or has changed a LOT. We’re talking about a new modern minimalism vibe, mixed with intense bold color choices. Sustainability, upcycling and using deadstock.

About 1-2 years ago, not long after covid hit we need fanciful, easy clothing. Shift dresses, romantic puff sleeves, Laura Ashley farm flower prints were everywhere, even Target.

Cottagecore reigned supreme and we were thrown back into farms of yesteryear which was greeted with a lot of silly memes.

For a brief period in 2021, we hit the hard 2000s, fake looks, plastic surgery extremes, and silver eyeshadow with crop tops.

Thank God designers had enough of that. It then mutated back into a Punk grunge look. Look up Vivian Westwood, and 90s grunge. Think big boots, jeans, and heavy eyeliner.

Let’s talk about what is happening to fast fashion and runways now. Natural minimalism and COLOR!!!

Thom Browne NYC showed us patch of surrealist minimalism.

For the #MetGala Gucci created a dress out of deadstock for Billie Eilish.

Deadstock is material in bolts that have been used and are headed towards a landfill. Great choice Chanel Pre-Cruise Monte Carlo collection showed simple leisure. Red classic Chanel tweed in a smple suit. Classy, chic, comfortable. Perfect for hot summer in the city., and brunch at The Beekman.

Full of a modern vibe. Karolina Zmarlak, a Polish Designer, is bringing us upper eastside New York City minimalism. Outfits have been upcycled and you’d never know it from these clean minimalist looks.

SheIn has become a fast fashion giant. IFYKYK. A side effect of that is that it is heading straight to the landfills. Time to recycle, reoutfit, or alter to keep using. Tired of it, or forgot to return? Sell on Poshmark, or Mercari. We have to be conscious of our clothing.

2022 has been a year of change. Fashion has tossed the frump, for sleek and sexy minimalism. You don’t need throw away your cottagecore dresses. They are perfect for summer outings, but come fall it’s time to get back to looking les farm more charm. Cliché? Yes, and true.

Until our next adventure in couture. Heathyr

Time for a closet clearout, stylist or personal shopper? Contact me at Heathyrw@gmail.com

ELLE UK June 2017 Lindsey Wixson by Gilles Bensimon

I LOVE this girl. Lindsey Wixson is not only one hell of a model, but a fighter for justice and the earth.

She’s also a current muse of Karl Lagerfeld (Chanel in case you’ve been sleeping) and is not only a great editorial model, but really tall, and rocks the runways. She’s infamous for her cute little tooth gap in the front and her ‘bee-stung lips’.

Now that I’ve given you her accolades, how about I give you the editorial? I loves Gilles Bensimon’s work. Truly, he’s a genius. Here he captures Lindsay in her favorite environment, nature.

Stylist Diaries; Two shoots, One supermodel and a Whole Lot of Caffeine #ElizabethDeo #EugeniaKuzmina #StylistLife #SetLife #StylistDiaries

The last week have been a whirlwind. I recently got back from a relaxing and enjoyable month-long vacation in the California Redwoods.

Look, city folk this is what trees look like...
Look, city folk this is what trees look like…

Apparently it was too relaxing because the second I headed back to LA I got double booked on some amazing shoots.

The first was for a longtime acquaintance in LA who is tiny, cute and beyond fit, model and performer Elizabeth Deo. She’s not only a professional but an absolute delight. All the photos are heading straight to the sexy and scintillating ‘Manic Magazine’.

It was a crushing 102F but thankfully all Elizabeth is a complete professional and only required lingerie.

10425512_10206141137021238_1131851698570887729_n 11406926_10206138452554128_344827954006628088_n11390333_10206140031993613_7697041260021439398_n Two days later I was back at it again with my absolute favorite client Eugenia Kuzmina.

Eugenia has been a runway and print model for tons of amazing clients, such as;

Armani Jeans, Dior sunglasses, GAP, Arden B, Express, Kenzi, Replay Jeans, Sephora, and L’Oreal.[2] She has been also featured in magazines, such as Elle, Harper’s  Bazaar, Marie Claire, Japanese and Russian Vogue, GQ, Self, Shape, As well as catalogs for Hermès and Cartier.

In her early 20’s she transitioned into acting and has most recently been in ‘Fury’ with Brad Pitt.

It’s not hard to see why I love this woman, She’s tall, gorgeous, leggy, talented and, a supermom. Her most recent photography project is creating a coffee table book I have been lucky enough to work on with her as a Art Director and Key Stylist. It’s all about being a supermodel/supermom.

We had an amazing shoot day and got the kids wired on sugar. A perfect combo for amazing shots.Here are some of the behind the scenes photos

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I want to thank my kick ass crews that made it possible, my sexy ass models Elizabeth Deo and Eugenia Kuzmina, and look forward to working with you all again!

What’s next for this little wardrobe stylista? A shoot for Powder Room Magazine. Everyday is a runway kittens, make today yours!

Keep checking back for new blog posts and updates.

New Look at HeathyrWolfe.com! #New #Custom #Update #Fancy

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Oh yes! Hello my sexy kittens. With my fabulous birthday passing (May 24th) I decided it was time for a long overdue update to my site. What you see here is a new format with fabulous, easy to ready fonts, pages, my styling port and more. I will be constantly undergoing construction because I am a total nerd girl and love updating techy things.

Soon there will be more media, videos, photos and blog posts than you can shake your iPhone at.

Much love and feedback is always welcome, though rarely taken seriously.

Happy reading,

Heathyr Wolfe

Trend Report #NYFW Baby Pinks, Blues and Bolds #Day5 #Trend #SS2015

Thank god for Style.com and their runway reporting. They report every collection, designer and runway worldwide and those of us in the industry would be lost without them. Especially when we are on the wrong side of the country during NYFW. But business is business and while I hustle and shake in LA (new products, events and interviews coming up) I still have my eye on Fashion Week’s around the world. You, my faithful reader’s, need to be in the know Otherwise there will be mayhem and fashionistas wandering the streets assuming Crocs, and the Kardashian’s are fashionable (gag).

Let’s get started;

This fashion week has been a bluster of basics and classic, romantic notions bring out baby pinks and icy blue to the runway. Chic silhouettes we saw with a touch of mad men, have turned to classic romantics and A-Line sporty outfits with a dash of sex.

Flowing figures and classic summer sexy hit DVF, aka, Diane Von Furstenburg. Diane is a great go to for classy and clean career wear. I highly recommend if you want to look top-notch A list fabulous for a job interview or day time event investing. Her clothing is always perfection.

DVF came through again on the SS 2015 runway. Relying on stripes and checked material adding length and volume created a work worthy collection with a little extra leg, and flare that came as a sexy surprise to her normally subdued dresses.

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Angeline Jolie has inspired a leggy look recently in gown’s and I completely approve.

Though many opted for orange this year DVF took to emerald bring and this stunning yellow on model Lais Ribeiro.

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Ending the show in true runway fashion, model Naomi Campbell finished the spring collection in this flurry of tulle boasting orange, bright pink and white in an empire waist-lined, babydoll dress.

NaomiDVFWell played Dian Von Furstenbeg.

Moving on to a personal favorite, Zac Posen. His collections always bring me back to embracing my sexy side and make me feel like a woman. His designs create a perfect figure on any woman and his use of textile is genius!

We find that this Spring/Summer season Posen’s simple, classical, feminine beauty reigned free with minimalist black’s and white.

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Adding the intensity of crimson orange to his collection Posen pair’s it with tight angle’s that create a thin and tall female form. Beauty fanatics, note the orange nail polish and lipstick Posen chose to feature on his models for dramatic flair.

ZacPosenOrangesuitAlekZac Posen continues to create the ideal of feminine grace in his collection by ending it with this beautiful gown fit for a queen in pure and simple white.

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Over at another NYFW favorit BCBG Max Azria chose a more floral and romantic feel with in his collection for Spring/Summer 2015. Fading from barely-there neutral pink to the palest of blues and back to pink again. BCBG Max Azria touched on an almost art nouveau feel with yards of flowing fabric.

BCBGblancapdillaA dash of floral mixed pink’s and blue’s on Miho Mijaljcic create’s a perfect mix of elegant for this maxi dress.

And back to baby blue…

BCBGMijoMihaljcic bcbgTayaErmoshkinaBCBGStashaYatchukThis Spring maxi dresses have dominated the runway, leaving skin bare with a combination of sheer panels, deep V’s and off the shoulder or one shoulder pieces. Glowingly graceful is taking hold with career women boasting tight silhouette’s and deep slit’s in their skirt’s and suits.

It’s all about adding a dash of sexy to your daily routine so if you thought of slacking on exercise this winter, fuggedaboutit. Skin is in, and we’re going girly.

Time to start shopping for those skinny and sporty dresses and skirts for next season. Leave the pants at home and don’t forget to pair some gold greens, yellows, pink and my personal favorite ORANGE in with your shopping. If you aren’t sure how to do color try adding a hint to your nails, lip color or accessories.

I’ll keep updating as we travel the runways around the world. Keep checking back for updates!

Things we love to support! Survivor Campaign by @LisaReillyPhotography on #IndieGoGo #CancerSurvivors #Bills #Help #Charity

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Click Here and Buy This Print to Donate!

Giving to the people, from the people rarely exists these days. Half the charities out there are a tax shelter and the other one’s don’t get any love unless helmed by a celebrity.

But wait! There is hope.

There are those of us on this planet who live with our heart on our sleeve and actually acknowledge human suffering on this planet just….to help. We’re talking about the small donations and ‘random acts of kindness’, YOU bring into this world.

That is why I stood up and became part of Lisa Reilly Photography’s AMAZING Survivor Campaign.

Lisa, who I met at LAFW had originally approached me with this campaign asking me if I would be willing to help raise funds and awareness for Cancer Survivors and their families, who are unable to pay for treatment or are left with hundreds of thousands of bills.

Check out Lisa’s IndieGoGo video for The Survivor Campaign!

I was happy to help. I also joined this campaign, being a Cancer survivor myself.

In 2013, I went for a routine check up and found out I had cervical cancer. I had to have surgery, which saved my life but left me with permanent complications and painful memories. However, they managed to cut the cells out of my body before they did major harm. I was a lucky one.

As I worked on this campaign other began to help as well. Tracie May-Wagner, CEO of May-Wagner PR contacted me. She wanted to help. She brought her client, the amazing Victor Wilde of The Bohemian Society on board. He in turn donated two pieces of his SS 2014 collection. Proving to me that there is ALWAYS support.

(Faith, Humanity, Restored)

No one should have to stand alone in their battle against cancer. Emotional or physical.

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Click and Donate, or buy this Print to Donate!

Shooting with Lisa underwater was extraordinary. It took everything I was doing this for and changed it.Not only was I helping others who have been through and going through pain, but I created something positive out of my Cancer experience. I never thought I could look back at this as more than a charitable session but it really changed how I look back at having had Cancer and is giving me a chance to empower others that have had it.

Check out the video out of the amazing video of Amy W. & I shooting underwater and describing our experiences (Video by D’arby Rose) ;

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Click and Donate, or buy this Print to Donate!

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Click and Donate, or buy this Print to Donate!

The women pictured in Lisa’s campaign have all fought and lived with Cancer. The women above have Stage 4 Aggressive cancer, survived a double mastectomy and cervical cancer. Going through chemotherapy and severe treatments that have costed them time, sanity, health and a small fortune.

Donating to this campaign will help them continue their fight. We’re taking donations as low as $10 to help raise funds and have packages up to $5,000 for every size and income. Please help us reach our goal so Cancer victims stand a fighting chance.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-survivor-campaign-by-lisa-reilly-photography#home

(If you or a Cancer victim would like to contact Lisa Reilly Photography for a session please contact Lisa@LisaReillyPhotography.com, Please forward all Press Inquiries to HeathyrW@Gmail.com)

Before Summer Fades Away, #HumpDay with @CalvinHarris #Summer #Classic #LOVE

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Because the middle of the week promises many things. It means you made it to Wednesday, it’s the middle of a grueling work week, it’s #HumpDay and worst of all you are at work on a beautiful summer day.

Thank you Calvin Harris. Playing all summer long, Calvin Harris has decimated the charts with his awesome theme for this Summer of 2014, simply titled ‘Summer’.

So here’s the chart topping ‘Summer’ to brighten your day. Happy Hump Day from me and the sexiness that is Calvin Harris. You deserve a break today. Now go dance in your cubicle….

Powerful Beauties in New Balmain Campaign #Rihanna #Naomi #Iman

Leave it to the french fashion house of Balmain to take three everlasting and powerful beauties to grace their new campaign. Partnering with W Magazine, Balmain presents one of the most striking covers of the year.

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The cover itself is stunning, but W mag and Olivier Rousteing, the new head of Balmain take things up a notch inside the pages of the magazine. Snagging the powerhouses that are Rihanna, Naomi Campbell and Iman, W magazine creates an overpowering editorial.

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Olivier Rousteing proves without a doubt (pictured above), at 27, he is beyond brilliant as the new head designer and creative director of Balmain. We can’t wait to see what he comes up with next. Bring it Balmain!

In case you’ve been living in a cave, #Beyonce dropped #FlawlessRemix with #NickiMinaj

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In case you have been hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro, or perhaps living in cave, awesome popular music just dropped.

Beyoncé, Queen of Quite A Lot, and Nicki Minaj, girl with Quite A Lot of Booty collaborated. And it was awesome. Addressing the Solange elevator debacle and good ‘ol haters, these two hot hip hop songstress’ brought the best case of illz I have had in a while.

Listen to the original on her site below…

Beyonce – Flawless ft. Nicki Minaj

Or click the Youtube below

 

‘Series 1’ by Nicholas Ghesquiere for FW2014 #Genius #New #FW2014

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Nicholas Ghesquiere is a man who never stop’s amazing me. As a stylist and fashion obsessed follower the man, the designer, is what pure fashion genius look’s like. Thankfully, for his first editorial as the head of Louis Vuitton he does not disappoint.

Reigning in the talents of Annie Leibovitz, Bruce Weber and Juergen Teller this editorial is over the top gorgeous.

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Thank’s to the people at Style.com we are in the know. The editorial simply named ‘Series 1’ and according to their awesome writer’s, star’s the amazing talent of;

Charlotte Gainsbourg (Ghesquière’s longtime muse), Liya Kedebe, Freja Beha Erichsen (the Fall ’14 show opener), and Jean Campbell.

Breathe in the beauty and watch the editorial below

For more information on Ghesquiere new campaign from Style.com, click the link below;

http://www.style.com/stylefile/2014/06/nicolas-ghesquiere-annie-leibovitz-charlotte-gainsbourg-debut-campaign?mbid=nl_sn06252014

LAFW Design Contest with Dom Streater and Heathyr Wolfe #LAFW #Design #Competition

I know I have been missing in action. But while you were all snuggled into your beds by the fireplace I was braving LAFW in 6 inch heels. Although I left with a terrible injury (damn those heels), it was all worth it.

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Thanks to a wonderful meeting of minds, Pre and Post LAFW, I’ve been booked as guest judge with the effervescent talent known as Dom Streater. If you aren’t familiar with the crazy talent of Dom Streater she was the winner of Project Runway, Season 12.

Here’s the best part, we’ll be judging 10 contestants showing their designs on the runway and give $1,000 to the winner.

Ah, I see that I have your attention now.

So you think you deserve that 1k in prize money?

Go to LAFWDCflyer1 http://www.lafwdc.com and fill out an application.

We’re taking app’s until May, 30th. That’s 5/30 darlings.

Good Luck and see you on the runway!

Miley Cyrus Topless in Vogue Germany #Miley #Again #MarioTestino

First it was the ‘Wrecking Ball’ naked video, then the twerking mess with poor Robin Thicke. We’ve seen Miley fall from grace, and head the way of slut like Lady Gaga with Terry Richardson’s ‘front thong’ pictures. However, there is hope!

Enter Mario Testino.

Mario Testino is a genius. Covering and photographing some of the most amazing artists, actors and supermodel’s in the world he is a constant beacon of artistic creation. In his photo set for Vogue Germany he has taken Miley ‘the tongue’ Cyrus and has transformed her into not only a lady, but icon Marilyn Monroe.

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Although she did go topless for her shoot, Mario Testino made her look elegant and very much not like a 20 year old with something to prove. Mario Testino has certainly won this round with lil’ miss #Bangerz. Miley looks beautiful and elegant. She even looks happy without slutting it up and sticking out her tongue? Can we hope for more of this?

 

The saga of Cyrus continues with W Mag’s Topless shoot with the creative mind’s of Mert & Marcus.

In the meantime follow this link to see the topless picture of Cyrus;

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DKNY Beverly Hills Trunk Show #Today #Fashion #DonnaKaran

After lot’s of coughing, Nyquil and a million vitamins I have beat H1N1. Just in time too. NYFW invites are coming in, shows are lining up for LAFW and I need to get back to business in a big way.

SO here’s the deet’s for today’s too fab fashion event in LA.

In Beverly Hills (of course) DKNY is having a trunk show at the ever lovely shopping hot spot, Neiman Marcus of Beverly Hills. It’s going all day until 5pm PST so if you have car, and will travel, travel here;

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Not only do you get to shop the new SS 2014 line but you can meet someone amazing who makes it happen FROM DKNY, the amazing Shirley Warren. This is a great chance to hob nob, network, shop and later do the rodeo drive luncheon.

So what are you waiting for? A formal invite. You have one! No go!

Rocking year! 2013 in review via WordPress. AKA, how much do you guys read this #SMedia #Stats #International

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I am proud to say that since it’s inception two years ago, you all have made Heathyr Wolfe.com a raging success! I have everyone one of you dedicated, amazing and slightly twisted readers to thank. Being able to write helps but I couldn’t do it without you all!

Thanks again for a great year and here’s too much, much, more in 2014!

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

Madison Square Garden can seat 20,000 people for a concert. This blog was viewed about 67,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Madison Square Garden, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.